My birth story is a tale of an unplanned caesarean and deep desire to experience a VBAC with my second. It's a journey that I'd like to share with you along with tips for how to have a VBAC. After a previous Cesarean birth, the decision to pursue a VBAC can be met with mixed emotions. Doubts and fears were forefront but I knew in my heart to keep my faith, and I'm so glad I did.
Motherhood
I'm one of those people who was never the type to question if I wanted to be a mother, it was a role I knew I was meant to step into. I got married at 28 and my husband and I traveled for the first few years - South Africa, Thailand, Costa Rica, & Europe but eventually we decided we were ready to become parents. Little did I know we would struggle with infertility (on both parties) and it would take us years.
I've had challenges getting pregnant with both of my littles (I have a 4 year old and 4 month old) but nothing could stop me from my dream of having two children. Perhaps one day I'll share more about my fertility journey, and how I used herbalism and Ayurveda to assist in pregnancy, but for now I'll just say I went through IVF to become pregnant this last time.
With my first, I prepared for a home birth which ended in a cesarean. I literally had the birth tub out, labored for 30 hours at home, before I transferred to the hospital exhausted and depleted. It was not the birth story I had hoped for. I sadly had birth trauma for the next 2 years after and a lot resurfaced during my second pregnancy.
This time around I really wanted to experience a VBAC - the pushing, the baby being delivered on my chest, being able to hold her after delivery, all the things.
How to Have a VBAC
Preparing for a VBAC is important. Yes, your body can do it. But no, you can't hold on so strongly to the outcome because ultimately you cannot control how you give birth.
I started preparing early for a VBAC. First acupuncture 2x a month, 10 sessions of pelvic PT with internal work, weekly chiropractor appointments starting in my 3rd trimester, and a lot of meditation and prayer. I took herbs throughout my entire pregnancy to prepare my womb, increase mineral reserves, and support my nervous system.
Castor Oil for Induction
Fast forward to 40 weeks and 3 days, I was really nervous of being induced because my first came at 42 weeks and my provider was gently reminding me of induction which I knew could increase my chances of another cesarean. Fun fact - they had a note in my chart that read ‘do not discuss induction’ 🤣. I guess they got the hint.
I started pulling out all of my Ayurvedic tools and herbs. Strong red raspberry leaf tea and herbal remedies, spicy foods, marma points, acupuncture, chiro, and ultimately, castor oil was the final nudge I needed.
Castor oil’s effectiveness is debated, but it’s been trusted for thousands of years in Ayurvedic medicine and by midwives. I've used it for gentle at-home detoxes in the past and believed it might help here too.
Castor oil is a very potent and an energetic oil. If you are familiar with Sanskrit terms - castor oil is highly rajastic.
It's energetics are downward flowing with the intent of ‘down and out.' It's also very warming and activating which is why it works so well for inducing labor. And yes, castor oil is a form of induction.
The Birth Story
Around 2pm, I decided to take an ounce of castor oil in apple juice and by 5pm my contractions had started. Two days prior, I had tried castor oil only to have contractions for hours, and then stall out, so I figured this was happening again.
Jokes on me.
By 9pm I was in the tub trying to breathe through them but it was on!! In my head I thought it was still practice contractions and was upset that I put myself in this much pain for nothing..
By 10pm my husband helped me get back into bed to rest because I was in a lot of pain (that I still didn't believe was labor). When you're in active labor there is no sleeping there is simply laying down and waiting for the next wave. A wave of intensity. Like if I was on a boogie board, I would be pummeled into the sand- over and over.
By the way I'm not someone with a high pain tolerance, I find childbirth to be very painful. I know some books tell you to not associate pain with contractions, but for me, pain is what I was in.
The Transition
By 12am, still unconvinced I was in labor, I lost my mucus plug and it dawned on me ‘its go time.’
My husband called my doula and my parents behind the scenes. Within minutes my doula was beside me squeezing my hips (if you are in Wilmington NC, Jillian Bretz, is hands down the best doula. She's been with us through both births).
By 1:30am, I was in the car, screaming for the epidural, thinking I was about to be one of those women who has her baby in the backseat. While I was open to the possibility of a non-medicated birth, I promised myself I wouldn't suffer this time. I am no less or no better because I opted in for medication. It's sad that we have to feel the need to justify our choice to an epidural but I see a lot of judgement and hierarchy around this topic, which there shouldn't be. Finally, we arrived at the hospital!
By 2am, my midwife told me I was about 7cm and rushed the epidural because my body could not stop bearing down. The epidural provided so much relief so I was able to rest and move into cervix opening positions. Oh yes - I was moving all around that bed despite the epidural!
It's Time to Push
Around 7am, my midwife told me that my body was ready to push.
This is where the flood of overwhelm, disbelief, and joy came in. I couldn't believe that I did it! Even though I was laboring for all of these hours, I had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. For someone to come in and tell me the baby wouldn't descend, I wasn't dilating enough, or some other reason to rush me into surgery.
I cried tears of gratitude. Thank you so much universe for letting me get to the pushing phase. I can do this. I'm actually doing it.
Pushing Could Take Hours
I remember her telling me 'sometimes this takes 2-3 hours.' And all I could think was 'hell no it won't. I'm going to do everything I can to push her out. I will not have another c-section.'
She laid me on my side with one leg in the air and coached me on how to push. My husband was at my head and my doula on the other side.
With 9 big pushes, I mean so big I thought my face was going to pop off, my little girl was birthed into the world. It took 22 minutes! I got to feel her head as she was descending, I got to push, I experienced being cheered on, it was so incredible.
The Golden Hour
After she was out, they placed her on my chest. She immediately calmed down once she heard my voice. We had the golden hour, we delayed the cord clamping for 2 minutes, and breastfed immediately. It was everything I had ever hoped for.
We named our baby girl, Summer. The birth experience was everything I had wished for. She was here. She had arrived. We are so in love with her.
If you are hoping for a VBAC or a vaginal birth, you can do it. You have to hold on loosely to the outcome, prepare your body as best as you can, and give it over to God.
If you've made it to the end of this blog, you know how much I love my daughter and how thankful I am for her birth experience. She's my everything and her birth made up for my traumatic first birth. They were so different and so special in their own ways but there is nothing like being able to deliver your child that way (in my personal opinion having experienced both ways of birth).
Thank you for being here and thank you for reading. More to come on fertility, IVF, and using herbalism to assist in pregnancy and birth.
If you are expecting or postpartum, check out the herbal remedies to help you throughout this incredible period of your life.
